Read and Wrestle

Happy New Year. Ole girl Gab & Graffiti took herself a break. (And didn’t forget about you all.) I just wasn’t kidding when I said “Slow Down and Catch Up.” And it’s not completely over! At the moment I’m with a couple young friends (7 and 9) watching Curious George’s A Very Monkey Christmas, sharing some laughs, food and a couple of soft, red couches.

Appropriately, my last few months of the year were spent sharing. Dinners, parties, sleepovers, dances, music, and the Gospel. Following the last worship Wednesday I had been learning more about worshiping in Spirit and in truth – through my giving. It’s not about the cash, but more about my time. Various circumstances and experiences has allowed (er…motivated) me to be nothing short of independent and introverted. I tend to be a loner, and as a result, I pull the plug on how much I give when I feel like I’m mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually spent.

Or, in other words, I just become selfish. And feel very justified in being so.

  • I can feel like its easier being “godly” and giving to non-believers than it is to do so among the Body. Because I want the glory for being so good.
  • I want to settle for doing “enough” because I’m terrified of burnout out or breaking down.

I don’t make resolutions. I just read (and wrestle) the scriptures.

“He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.”  Micah 6:8 With this in mind, I pray for an increase in humility.

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” Galatians 6:9 With this in mind, I pray that I’m presented with more challenges to grow in God’s strength and power, and in my love for everyone. Because He never got tired of teaching, loving and giving to me. Rather than just “work” to earn my place in the kingdom, in gratitude I can trust that my God will bless me beyond my merits and weaknesses, and continue to serve Him out of a deeper intimacy and respect.