Question for the Walking Living (In Him)

Hope your Valentine’s Day was as fun as mine.

V-Day evening had me and several others in a Bible study/game/forum about relationships. The gals and the guys were separated into two large groups (I’d say 30 per group). Each individual wrote a question on a piece of paper to be put into the group basket. After this was done, the fun began. A moderator would pick and ask a question from the guys basket for the gals to answer, and another moderator would do the same from the gals basket for the guys to answer. Each group had a spokesperson (or someone with a struck heart to speak) to give an answer for the question posed; the group which posed the question had a couple chances to give a rebuttal of some sort following the answer.

Just in case you still don’t get how this worked…

The gals’ moderator asked a question “Why do guys cheat all the time?” A designated/un-designated and willing guy answers “If he cheats on you the guy is unhappy, and nothing is going to make him happy,” (which according to the consensus of me and the gals surrounding wasn’t a real answer). We the gals, had no rebuttal for this. But if we did, we would have at least two shots to fire back. And then the next question would be asked for us to answer.

Questions like, “Why do guys text instead of talk? Why does it take us (guys) asking you (gals) like three times if anything is wrong, before you actually tell us that something is wrong? What do you like in a guy/gal?” (both guys and gals answered this question) were tossed until the forum evolved into a large bible study where one guy asked this question:

“If you are dating someone of a different foundation (i.e. Catholic and you’re Baptist) does that mean you are unequally yoked?” In general our leaders responded that to be equally yoked we have to have the same drive for the Lord (to draw nearer to Him in our own relationship with Him as well as in our relationships with each other). One of the leaders specifically stated that, for her, if she were to be called to missions and the guy was called to be an architect, the relationship wouldn’t work because they would be in two different directions – all to say that the two of you must be on the same page concerning your foundation in Christ and your overall life direction. 

Now, until that night 2 Corinthians 6:14-18 demonstrated all I thought I needed to understand about being “unequally yoked,” and honestly, I’m unsettled that we didn’t settle on that scripture alone with our responses to the gentleman’s question. Not saying the guy was on to something or that he had a point, but he struck a cord on somethings that I hadn’t considered before.

Is being equally yoked only limited to you and your significant other’s denomination? I believe denominations have no control over your understanding of scripture and the Almighty Author, and nor does it determine the relationship that you have with Him, although it may influence both. 

Yet the majority of us (and I’m not included here, but the rest were either pretty certain or pretty quiet like I was) seemed to link denomination with foundation. I’ve grown a little to understand that just because the two of us believe in The Father, The Son and the Holy Spirit that we’re not necessarily “yoked equally,” but I’m not willing to agree that both of us have to be missionaries serving the Episcopalian diocese to be yoked equally either. 

For me, being equally yoked is only something the Holy Spirit can reveal in time, given that the two seek to follow Christ with all of themselves. And I’m strictly refusing to add to what the bible clearly instructs as being “yoked together with unbelievers.” For now, that’s all I believe is to it.

But do you?

If you believe that you are FULLY ALIVE in Him please help me out and tell me what you think.







2 thoughts on “Question for the Walking Living (In Him)

  1. I appreciate your thoughts here – Valentine’s Day has a way of forcing you to think about love/romance/marriage and everythinginbetween! The idea of being “equally-yoked” is a hard topic, I think, because it affects so many Christians. While you’re right, the Bible does specifically say “unbelievers,” I’ve come to think that there’s more to it. No, the Bible doesn’t lay out specific ground rules for what kind of Christian to marry (and by kind, I mean degree of spiritual maturity, passion for Christ, etc.), but it DOES state what a good marriage is: one that has equality and a nobleness of character (throughout Proverbs, especially, and in the epistles). I don’t think the Bible needs to tell us the measure of all these things, but rather, it tells us to seek out a partner of strong Christian character. We know from experience and from watching others, that when two people have similar visions for their futures, their marriage will be a smoother, happier one. God doesn’t tell us to marry someone with exactly the same desires and visions for the future, but that makes logical sense, and I think He expects us to live out the scriptures (finding another Christian), but He then gives us the freedom within that to choose someone that suits us.

    I don’t know if this is helpful at all. I’d love to hear anything else that comes to your mind!

    • Catherine, in case I didn’t do so before I’d like to thank you for stopping by and following Gab & Graffiti!

      Your response pretty much sums up what was mulling around in my head. Not sure about everyone else in our audience V-night. I’m sure if you were there you definitely would’ve sensed the uncertainty in the atmosphere on this question (or it could’ve just been me). Valentine’s Day isn’t something I get motivated to celebrate each year myself; I went to support my alma mater’s ministry group in a fun and fruitful night – it. was. AWESOME. But for the most part (when in it came to coming up with something I’d always wanted to know about relationships or guys), I felt like a know-it-all, or at least experienced and mature to never make the wrong decision twice (or thrice) and lean on the Lord when I need to cross certain bridges. It’s great that I was able to take a second thought at something.

      Thank you for your thoughts. I’ll continue to pray for guidance in all of our relationships, including the romantic sort.

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