Dirty Word I Hate to Love


It has always been one those words that I cringed at as a child. It was what I saw whenever my father would come home in his navy uniform. What I would hear whenever he or my mother spoke to me. And pretty much whatever I would get when I got out of line. And I hated it. But you know what word I hated more?

Obedience. Still makes me cringe, wrinkle my nose, curl my lip and cheek up into the most stank look you can ever imagine. It makes me feel owned, insecure and dependent. And I’ve always liked to believe that I’m a free agent, even as a child. (Cause who thinks my thoughts and controls my heart, soul and behavior? Certainly not you! So why should I? AND what???)

Obedience might still be a struggle for me, but discipline has become one of my crutches.

I like the patience that I give myself because of it. I like how thorough I can be when I execute it. And I like the clarity, focus and relief that comes when I simply have it.

Discipline has helped save me from engaging in pointless disputes, frivolous spending, wasted time, wasted effort, wasted breath, burning out, cheating, lying, resentment, bitterness, jealousy, and any other ailing conditions occurring as a result of, uh….disobedience.

Okay obedience isn’t so bad either. As long as I obey God. And as I’m “coming of age,” I don’t feel as insecure knowing that I’m owned by him, because I am his child. I’m learning more to depend on him with each step and breath I take, and with every move I make.

I was perusing Google looking for a devotional and stumbled upon this humbling read. As an adult I find that I’m constantly craving decency and order, and more of the Lord to order my steps in his word. My love for discipline now brings me closer to my heavenly father, and fuels my love for him.



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